![\"Meet](\"https:\/\/bellagracemagazine.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/09\/MeetYourselfWithKindness-3-Joy-Jordan.jpg\")
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I was good at self-care: I got pedicures, took yoga, and made lunch dates. Still, I had a nagging feeling of “not enough.”<\/strong><\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n We receive cultural messages of \u201cmore,\u201d \u201cbetter,\u201d \u201cdifferent,\u201d or \u201cimproved.\u201d Rarely are we told we\u2019re okay just as we are. This affirmation must come from within. It\u2019s a strange paradox: until we accept ourselves as we are, we can\u2019t make the changes we seek.<\/em> When we reject whole parts of ourselves, these places never heal.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n Earlier in my life, I confused self-acceptance with self-care. The latter involves externals; the former involves internal intimacy. I was good at self-care: I got pedicures, took yoga, and made lunch dates. Still, I had a nagging feeling of \u201cnot enough.\u201d Years of meditation taught me to sit with my uncertainty, fear, and self-judgment. I saw (and still see) places where I resist, and it\u2019s these very places where I remain stuck. I won\u2019t become unstuck with a good glass of chardonnay and new yoga clothes. I move forward by meeting myself right where I am. Even if I repeat the same negative habit a thousand times, I can begin anew: notice, forgive, and grow.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n It\u2019s natural to look outside ourselves for approval and love. Much of our conversation, consumption, and achievement is unconscious code for \u201cam I okay?\u201d But externals can\u2019t provide the balm we need; they can\u2019t show us\u2014deep in our hearts\u2014that we\u2019re okay. We must do this for ourselves.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n To me, mindfulness is a practice in staying\u2014staying present, open, and connected\u2014whether life is wondrous or heartbreaking. It\u2019s a way to be my own best friend. Because pushing away my uneasiness takes more energy<\/em> than staying with my experience as-is. Learning to stay is one of my greatest life lessons. It lets me access the difficult and savor the positive. It opens my heart in all directions. And it allows me to be more present and attentive to people I love. When I meditate, or simply stay with myself during tough life circumstances, I arrive at the front and back door of myself. I trust that I am okay, as-is.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n David Whyte writes, \u201cOne small thing I\u2019ve learned these years, how to be alone, and at the edge of aloneness how to be found by the world.\u201d To heal, we must feel what we feel<\/em>. Sit down in aloneness and cultivate our capacity to be with everything. This is done little bit by little bit with patient, persistent effort. Gradually, we trust in ourselves\u2014in our enough-ness\u2014even when life is difficult. And from this trusted \u201cedge of aloneness,\u201d we connect with the world in a more wholehearted way.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n This practice doesn\u2019t require fancy equipment, new clothes, or perfect conditions. We can start right where we are: Meet ourselves with kindness, take an honest inventory\u2014honor and accept our raw places\u2014and move forward with love and intention. Because we\u2019re human, we will falter, but we can be brave enough to begin again.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n <\/p>\n Joy Jordan is a student and teacher of mindfulness. Her work takes her into prisons, corporate offices, schools, and community classes. She tries to live life with a curious mind and an open heart, which means her most important work is on the meditation cushion. You can find her words, photographs, meditations, and e-courses at\u00a0BornJoy.com<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I was good at self-care: I got pedicures, took yoga, and made lunch dates. Still, I had a nagging feeling of “not enough.”<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":1303,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5,23],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2479","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-all","category-self-affirmation"],"acf":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/bellagracemagazine.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2479","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/bellagracemagazine.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/bellagracemagazine.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bellagracemagazine.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/7"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bellagracemagazine.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2479"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/bellagracemagazine.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2479\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bellagracemagazine.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/1303"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/bellagracemagazine.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2479"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bellagracemagazine.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2479"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/bellagracemagazine.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2479"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}\n\tWords: Joy Jordan<\/a><\/span>\n\t